Excuse me, waiter. There is a hippo in my soup!

Stephanie Marton would be proud that we fit in our first away adventure just before the one month mark!The goal is at least one per month. Which is good for you guys, because it means more blog posts for you guys!

Liwonde National Park served as Brody’s first safari-like experience. Liwonde is about 3.5 hours south of Lilongwe on the M1 by car. (That information is for you, Marc!) We arrived on Saturday afternoon, met some of Katie Simon’s friends from Neno and went on boat ride on the Shire River (Don't worry, it was a proper tour boat! We know to avoid being served to crocodiles as a dugout canoe delicacy.) We saw plenty of hippopotamuses, a crocodile and a huge herd of elephants. Aside from the excitement of seeing these animals in their natural setting, the river was beautiful, lined with baobab trees, glimmering with the sunset and dotted with graceful fishing boats.

 Afterwards, we had dinner at the Hippo View Lodge. We were casually enjoying our veggie curry when a HIPPO WALKED THROUGH THE RESTARUANT! It lumbered up from the water towards the bar (walking about five feet behind my chair!) and around the next table (about 10 feet away!) and, presumably, back down to the water. I was surprisingly calm and tried to take a photo, but it was too dark by the time I was ready and, despite my general sense of immortality, I did think it best not to use a flash in that situation. Did you know, hippos will kill you? Like, seriously kill you? They are said to be one of the most aggressive animals in the world along with sharks (and HIPPOSHARKS!) and will attack humans with no provocation. They weigh 3,000-4,000 lbs average (though “they are difficult to weigh in the wild because of their size…” No shit, wikipedia!) They are primarily vegetarian and eat 150 lbs of grass a day. No word on how they are so fat with a such a healthy diet. Also, no word yet on whether they suffer from cardiovascular disease secondary to their body habitus. However, there is word that they will, indeed, kill you along with the other 2,999 people per year because they just straight up charge people (and probably chop their heads with those tusks too, I bet.) Also of note, they spin their tails while they defecate, reportedly to mark their territory, but I wouldn't be surprised if they did it just to be jerks. 

 

We stayed in Bushman’s Baobabs Camp which was quite far from the tarmac road and made me realize why you need 4 wheel drive to go anywhere outside of Lilongwe. Because the dorm beds were full (noisy Australian youths!) we got a free upgrade to a private tent with en suite bathroom which, obviously, was pretty fancy. We escaped the whole weekend without any noticeable mosquito bites (the only African animal more deadly than hippos!) for which we thank the dry season. We arrived back home safely in time for... remember when that hippo walked through that freakin’ restaurant?!

Enjoy these shots from the boat ride. Also, you should probably watch  this related video.